Doggy dog

I've been avoiding writing about this and I'm not sure why. I guess I assume most people come here looking for some craft inspiration or maybe an idea for an activity to do with their kids.

But as I've written the last couple of post, a big elephant has been sitting in the room.

A dog, actually. A medium-sized dog named Cronkite.

Oh, boy. Here come the tears.

So, I'm going to write about this. You don't have to read it. But maybe it will help me cope to get it out there? It might also make some of you judge me in a negative way. I don't know. I wish I could say I don't care what you think, but I do.

J and I adopted Cronkite, our sweet mutt, almost seven years ago. She was at least a year old at the time, maybe older.

Adopting a dog at the shelter was my birthday gift, but we had to wait a couple weeks to do so because that was the summer we were getting married. So the day after we got back from our honeymoon (literally), we found her, shivering in her cage, the only dog not barking for our attention.

She was the only dog we took on a leash that day, and we decided right then and there we didn't have to think about it. There was no way we could bring her back inside. I loaded her in our Jeep while J filled out the paperwork. She was ours.

Cronkite was nervous at first. She cowered when other dogs in the neighborhood barked. She was afraid of the leash. But she quickly warmed up to us and became our "baby," as many dogs do (especially before people actually have babies, I think).

Everyone loves Cronkite. The words most people use to describe her are "sweet," "gentle," and "easy." And she is.

Except lately.

She bit our house painter the other day. Unprovoked. She just charged the poor guy and poked a hole in his leg with her teeth. She actually did this a few months ago, too, to the cable guy. We were embarrassed and apologized profusely that time, but kind of forgot about it after it happened.

Cronkite has become more aggressive at the fence gate lately, barking like mad at other dogs and people who walk by.

She has never bitten the girls, but growls at them sometimes.

I called around to various vets and dog people and they all say the same thing: she needs to be put down. They say we should have done it after the first bite, not exactly making us feel like Dog Mom and Dad of the Year.

Seeing all that in print makes it sound like a pretty bad situation, huh? Like this should be a no-brainer. And it is in some ways, because what if there's a next time? What if the next worker who comes to our house gets more than a bite on the leg (which doesn't sound like much fun to me as it is). What if Cronkite breaks free from the backyard when a neighbor is walking their dog? What if the next victim is one of the kids or their friends?

I'm going to sound like every dog owner who's ever dealt with an aggressive dog now: what makes this so hard is that 99.9999998 percent of the time she's that sweet, gentle, easy dog we love. When I think about April 21, the date we have scheduled to put her down, when she's curled up at my feet (like she is right now) I start to think the whole thing is a weird dream. This can't be the same dog.

It's also hard knowing that there are behavioral programs available to help us teach her to be less aggressive. For a couple of days, we thought that was going to be the route we would take. But both J and I woke up one morning and agreed--it's not worth the risk.

So, I'm basically a wreck right now. J reminds me that we extended her life seven years, and I'm glad for that, but it doesn't erase the guilt or the sorrow.

I will miss my doggie. I will miss being in awe of how fast she can run, how she looks like a ribbon in the wind when she really gets going. I will miss how excited the girls get when they see her after a long trip away from home. And I will miss how she rests her chin on my knee sometimes and looks up at me with those droopy eyes as if to say, "What's on your mind, Mama? And how about a little ear rub while you're at it?"

Comments

[Ferrill]

I'm so sorry about your doggy. What a difficult decision to have to make. No judgment here, only sympathy.

[Leslie]

That is so difficult for you and I'm sure for the rest of the family. Pets become part of the family, my thoughts are with you.

[Basht]

hugs.
it's not much but in these situations there isn't much else.

[Liz]

I'm so, so sorry about this. The same thing happened with my cat (if you can believe it) about a year ago. He bit my mom so severely that she had to go to the emergency room for iv antibiotics. Then he bit my mother in law. Then attacked my husband in front of my son. I didn't see what happened, but the screaming and yowling (from all three of them) was so scary that I was sure a coyote had gotten them. The vet said we shouldn't have waited to put him down after the first attack.

It was horrible, but I think once it starts to happen it's just a matter of time before it's you or your husband or (God forbid) one of the girls.

I really do know how painful it is. Jake was like our child, too. We'd had him for 7 years and he was the love of our lives. But people always have to come first.

xo

[michaela]

Oh, Megan - what a terrible situation. We had to do this a few years ago with a dog we'd only had for a few weeks (a rescue dog, natch). That was incredibly hard; I can't imagine how difficult it'd be to do with a pooch who's become part of the family.

Hugs to you....

[Darcie]

Meegs - So sorry to hear about Cronkite. You are a strong person for making the decision. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jay and the girls. XOXO - Darc

[Deb]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You're very much not alone, though...I just dealt with the same issue only a week and a half ago. We had a wonderful, sweet, huge dog who started being aggressive when he hit adulthood a few months back. I wasn't as prompt about dealing with it as you, though. I waited until he'd bitten my three year old son twice and started growling at him almost daily. I kept thinking my son must've provoked my dog. Then, when I saw it happen first hand and realized my son wasn't to blame, I thought we could train it out of him. I hired a dog trainer to come to the house and that didn't work either.

It's horrible and I'm still torn up about it, but your earlier poster had it right...people have to come first.

[Carolyn L.]

Oh, Megan. I'm so sorry to hear about Cronkite. We've had some health issues with out older dog lately, and we've been thinking that soon we'll have to make a similar decision. Doesn't matter what the reason is. Anytime you lose a pet, it's a sad day for the family.

[Nis]

Mimi, I'm so sorry... that had to be a horrible decision but I think you know that you can't take chances. But I can feel the sadness. Our animals, even when bad or obnoxious or just plain neurotic, are our lovies too. Hugs and love and all that's good to you, Jay and the girls. Give Cronkite an ear scratch for us. xoxo

[gretchn]

I'm sorry to tell you this but it is the right thing to do and it sounds like you both know it. Like any other death remember the good times and remember that this is why you are doing this so there aren't anymore bad times. Let this be a learning lesson to both of you and the girls and without death we can't truly love.It will be hard but you will get through it. We've been there and are thinking of you.

[carolyn]

how heartbreaking!
i feel so bad for you. but you can't risk your precious pup biting a child... or anyone, but especially a child.
you've given this doggy a wonderful loving home, don't ever forget that. she's had a wonderful life with you. she know that you love her, that's all she knows.

[Klay]

Oh Megan, I know this kind of heartbreak. I had to do the same thing when a dog we rescued bit the neighbor and then went after me one night. It was totally unlike this dog to do things like that and we tried really hard to find other options but, like you, we couldn't risk another bite or worse. You really did do a good thing rescuing her from the shelter. My heart goes out to you because I know how difficult it is.

[Megan]

Thank you all so much for your support. I had really expected some folks to disagree with our decision--and that would be fine--but I'm very comforted by all the understanding comments you all made.
And my heart goes out to those of you who have been there before. I'm sorry you had to go through the bites and the heartache, but please know that your willingness to share those stories here make me feel better about our choice.
xoxo

[carol]

ugh- my heart just dropped reading this post.

our sweet dog ollie has done the same thing. he actually bit me in the face.

the thing is, we got him after our beloved Beatrice was hit by a car and killed...it still affects me to this day (her death) and to think I would have my hand in my pet's death just sucks.

I SO SO feel for you and you have given me more of a reason to seriously think of our sweet boy.

thanks for sharing this. I will be thinking of you and your family.

[Megan]

I'm so sorry, Carol--for the loss of Beatrice and for Ollie's biting. It's such a hard situation. We went back and forth over the last couple of weeks but finally went ahead with the appointment yesterday. Having her life in our hands was the hardest thing. I still think we made the right decision, but I'm a fountain of tears anyway.
We happened to have a pediatrician appointment this morning and I mentioned it to our doc. She is a dog lover, too, but she said she would have done the same thing, especially after seeing the bites that some of her young patients have received.
I'm not trying to sway your decision AT ALL. Every situation is different. I'll be thinking of you and Ollie, too.