The Santa situation, Thanksgiving costumes and more daily life

Oh, you guys who keep coming back to read Penny Carnival after these long breaks between posts are too good to me. Even J has been scolding me. 

I'm sorry for my absence. It's been, well, nuts.

Thanksgiving was lovely, though. How about you? 

We visited my family across the state and had a fun dinner at my sister's. The kids put on a "First Thanksgiving" play, dressed in costumes we made at the 11th hour (me, anyway).

Despite some historical inaccuracies (we're going to let that slide for a few years), it was downright adorable.

The play ended with the kids sharing a Thanksgiving feast of rice crispy treats shaped like corn on the cob and a blessing that led us to the dinner table.

 
You can read more about it on my Kids' Parties site.  

I did find time to make myself a pilgrim apron following Heather Bailey's fantastic Daily Spice pattern. I say pilgrim because it had a black bodice and skirt and a white waistband and ties. No pictures yet. I always seem to be behind the camera instead of in front of it.

The plan was to make four identical aprons--one for me, my mom, my sister and her friend who had dinner with us. But I only had time for one and it turned out a bit wonky (you know how it goes when you're using a pattern for the first time) so it's all mine. Maybe I'll try for a Santa style one for Christmas (red, black, red?) ... or maybe not.

Speaking of Santa, we're in the midst of our annual dilemma. J and I feel so strongly about being truthful with our kids. It's utterly painful for us to carry on with the Santa story. We do it, cheerfully, but this year is more challenging than ever because both girls have developed a phobia of the big guy. 

It seriously goes beyond a normal fear, especially for Bo, who is 4 now. I think Magpie (who is 2) gets scared because she sees her big sister crying. We tried to go to our city's annual tree lighting, but she wouldn't step foot in the building because she knew Santa would be there. The poor kid was hysterical.

We stayed in a hotel near Seattle last night in a city that throws a holiday parade--totally fun. Fake snow falling from the sky. Toy soldiers on stilts giving out candy canes. People dressed up like reindeer and snowmen and penguins. I don't even know if Santa was there because the girls didn't want to have anything to do with it. 

I take that back. Bo was happy to meet the Snow Princess. 

My mom was with us and she tried dancing the jitterbug with Rudolph to help the girls get comfortable with the costumes, but it didn't work (and then Rudolph's helper said to my mom, "OK, lady. Let's not get Rudolph too hot in there." If you know my mom, it was a classic Nancy moment.)

I kind of wonder if Bo is so scared because we're so honest with her about everything else. She's in the heart of those years when she's trying to figure out how the world works, and here are her parents telling her that some old guy is going to park his reindeer on her roof and shimmy down her chimney one night. I think I'd be freaked out, too.

I'm seriously considering telling her the truth and focusing on the historical story of Saint Nick, not to mention all the other wonderful Christmas traditions. But here is how the conversation usually goes when I suggest this:

Megan: I don't like being dishonest with my kids.
Friends and Family: When you were little, didn't you believe in Santa?
Megan: Yes.
Friends and Family: And it was fun, wasn't it?
Megan: Yes.
Friends and Family: Then why rob your children of some of the magic of Christmas?
Megan: Umm ... I don't know.

Plus, what if she told all the kids in preschool the truth about Santa. Would we get expelled??!

Advice please. There are four weeks until Christmas and at some point I'm going to need to go into a mall.

In other news, we made our first snowmen of the year:

But it's these snowmen I'm really craving:

(Photo taken at Madeleine's in Spokane) 

And if you're going to make a snowman, you might as well do it in style, right Magpie?

 

We enjoyed a recent playdate with a friend:

 

which resulted in these cookies:

and this sweet moment in Bo's bedroom:

Bo won her first coloring contest, which bought dinner for four so we're happy to report that she's now earning her keep:

And check out this adorable Princess and the Pea toy my nieces' grandmother made for them after seeing the idea here:


 Squeal! Don't you love the little pocket for the pea?

I'm sure she would want me to tell everyone that she didn't make the doll, but she's an accomplished seamstress so I know she could make any doll she wanted to.   

Now that your computer has crashed from opening all those photos ... come back soon because I'm working behind the scenes on lots of good stuff. Twelve--count 'em! twelve!--tutorials for Christmas crafts. That starts Dec. 6, but hopefully I'll have something worthwhile to say before then (but don't hold your breath). 

   

  

Comments

[Jennifer]

Sorry you are dealing with Santa phobia. We have always told our kids that Santa is just a story like Frosty, the tooth fairy etc. They still get the "magic" of Christmas, but they are aware that they are stories, no lying involved.

[Bean]

We don't lie about Santa Claus here, or any other imaginary creatures (tooth fairy, etc)

I don't think there's anything "magical" about lying to your children. I was terrified of Santa Claus too, and I'll be honest with you and tell you that I have never trusted my mother the same way after I found out that it was her.

That being said, we DO have gifts on Christmas morning, that we give to each other in the spirit of St. Nick. Our family also helps a lot with organizing a gift tree for local kids in need, and we play Santa for them too. There is plenty of magic in our holiday, without the lies.

I posted a little bit about the same subject last year, and there are a couple of great links in my post: http://coyotecraft.blogspot.com/2008/12/where-treetops-glisten.html

[Tammy Monson]

Santa...Derek and I had very different experiences growing up. He never did the Santa thing and was pretty determined when Abby came along that we would not be pretending that Santa was a real person today sneaking down our chimney, eating a plate of cookies. It absolutely shocked some of my family and they think we have almost tortured the girls. (I can confidently say both have wild imaginations and don't seem to be too damaged from it all.)That being said, whatever you decide will come with someone on the other side of the fence. We chose to tell the girls from the get go that Saint Nicholas really was a man that lived long ago, we have a fantastic children's book that tells the story. I believe the title is "Santa Clause Are You For Real?" Our first born has no desire in believing or pretending about Santa, but our second born gets so excited and pretends that Santa is really coming even though she has heard the real story a thousands times. When it comes to gift giving we try to focus on the importance of generosity as we have been blessed with much. Maybe telling them the truth will help them overcome their fear...both girls really wanted to sit on Santa's lap last year even though Abby stood in line and asked out loud for all to hear, "Who is in the costume mom?"

[Amy]

I haven't thought of this moment in a very long time, but with a 4 yr old and 2 yr old myself. I know the moment is coming.

When I was young.. how young I don't actually remember. I brought my concerns about Santa to my father and he told me this:

He said.. yes.. There is no 'real' Santa.. all the ones at the mall are really somebody’s Grandpa and movies are just movies. BUT my father explained that he still believed in Santa’s spirit. He told me that different cultures and religions have folklore that depicts a patron saint etc.. And so it's still ok to have Christmas Spirit and not appropriate to tell anyone that there is no Santa. (Especially my little brother). It seemed to be a really good answer and has stuck with me to this day.

Not sure if this would fly in your home.. but I might give it a go in mine:)

[mkpoggie]

If a child is scared of it, I have always suggested to my students parents that they explain that Santa is a character just like the ones we read about in story books. Which is how I have always thought of the modern incarnation of Santa (so I guess I don't see it as lying anymore than I see talk of the Cat in the Hat as lying). Then again, I never even sort of believed in Santa when I was little...although I faked it beyond an age that was appropriate because I was afraid Christmas would be ruined. My parents had "the talk" with me so many times, I think they thought I was a bit cracked.

[Jes]

I have always gone by the simple rule that if my child is old enough to ask the question they are old enough to know the answer (an age appropriate answer of course). My daughter was just over 3 when she asked if Santa was real. I told her that some people believe that Santa is real but that I didn't and that she could believe or not if she wanted. Of course this set off a whole bunch of other conversations with the inlaws and friends as the in laws were suddenly terrified my child would 'ruin' Xmas for theirs (to the point where they didn't let us visit and didn't come over at all that year even though I had talked it over with my daughter and she agreed not to tell her cousin)... Personally I think providing them with the option to believe when they ask is a healthy option.

[Kari]

I also strongly believe in being honest with my kids. I started out talking like this: "When I was little, my parents told me that Santa..." (So it is the truth - it is what my parents told me!) We don't really talk about Santa much, but they absorb it from the world around them. If they ask me something, I just reply "what do you think?" It is kind of a weird compromise because I am allowing them to believe it and kind of getting out of lying by a technicality. But that is what we are doing right now!

I have heard of people being shocked and losing trust in their parents after finding out that Santa is not real. Though most of the time I think that is when the Santa thing was really perpetuated too much (to an older age or the parents insisting he is real even when their child expresses doubt). I guess I'll find out how we did in a few years! :)

BTW - I love the princess and the pea! How adorable.